l LOVE HER LIKE CRAZY

I love her very much. There is nothing in this world that can buy this love. Picture at the side is just a token.

Dear my love, my love for you is endless. Time will never ahead of my priceless love for you. Whether you are sad or happy, whether you are rich or poor, whether you are healthy or in pain, my love for you will never die.

There is no words can describe how much I love you.

L- love you very much.
O- Over time, it will never fade
V-Vow that I made when I married you will always alive.
E-Endless love from me for you.

The Most Beautiful and most precious gift

4th day of August, 2014. I wrote This.

Today as I preparing for my new days and commitments, I starts with my morning prayer. After long time time that i did not and do not know how to pray, few days ago, i really feel that emptiness in me. I feel so down. feel like all that I did are deeds in vain. I start looking into myself. what is this feeling all about.

For sometimes once I got the emptiness feeling, I start thinking, is it because I never come forward and talk to my God? I don't know the answers. Out of my religious duty to Him, I just got up and start counting the clocking time. As the time comes, I just prepare my self to start talking with my God. With out knowing how to pray, I took a book of prayer guidance and start following it. It is an awesome feeling that i feel knowing that God know what I do not.

It all started with a sense of failure to give to my family I wanted most. Then I feel the emptiness in me. As human, all that i can do is try my best to meet world expectation, I feel so tired with my situation and not satisfied. Once i start Talking to my God, I realized everyday is a blessing. a new day being given to me to improve myself. I should praised Him and be grateful to Him for the new opportunity that He had given to me.

God is great, almighty,He is Peace keeper, and He is Everything. there are nothing hidden from His sight, i can asked millions of things that can pleased myself but He know what the best for me.May God blessed me in this new day while I push forward to achieve my worldly goal and also the Heavenly eternity goal.

It had been more than one month that my wife had undergone stem cell autologus transplant as her Lymphoma (difuse large B cell lymphoma- DLBCL). Thank God for the speedy recovery. I am glad that she is making a good progress. Her blood count had been showing good sign of recovery.

I pray and will always hope that she will be as healthy as before. No matter what it takes, I will always give my best to support her. As a cancer patient, just like most of them, she will always have a sensitive feeling. Her moods can swing all the time. It really challenging for me but I need to be strong. Sometime I do feel hurt but life need to go on. She need all the support from me. Mentally and physically, it really stressful time for me all the time but I am glad that God is always there whenever I feel down.

As for my wife, with all the hardship you had been through, do not give up. give your best all the time. You must know even if all things do not goes your way, Please believe me..I will be ready and always ready all time for you.

For all husband, If you happened to be one of the person that having the same situation like mine, please, please, please never give up. We are the pillar of our family. Others can offer words of comfort, they can give us thousands of money but still we are the most precious thing to her.

Relapsed of lymphoma

Lymphoma relapsed for my wife. She was Admitted to hospital ampang, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia on 2nd day of May 2014. Being given 2 pine of blood transfusion. Also being going through GCSF. Will perform "collective" procedure to collect stem cell on 7th May 2014. On the 9th day of may 2014, PET scan will be performed at Austral Euro, Kuala Lumpur. Next will be another session of chemotherapy before the cleansed stem cell being induce back into my wife body. How? I don't know. May Allah cure my wife. Cost might be a thing that bothering me but my love for her is stronger than that. Dear my lovely wife, be strong and you must know that Allah is great. Amin.

Lymphoma Difuse Large B Cell Relapsed

Cancer is a diseases that can relapse even after the first treatment had bee successfully completed. It is a heart breaking situation for the patient and their family members. I am now currently in this situation.

July, 2013, My wife had finish her last cycle of her R-CHOP chemotherapy for her Lymphoma treatment. We are happy that things has been so far so good. However after some months follow-up in the hospital, again from the CT-Scan performed somewhere end of February 2014, Doctor notice that the cancer have returned. Now it was detected some where in between the lung. Immediately my wife was advice to do another few cycle of chemotherapy. She was admitted to hospital on 10th of March 2014. This time around, she will do another three (3) to four (4) cycle of Chemotherapy and the Chemotherapy regime that going to administered to her is RICE. I do not really know what is RICE but I understand that the letter 'R' is stand for "Rituximab". This RICE regime is stronger that R-CHOP.

Another type of treatment that she have to undergo is Bone Marrow transplant. Again I do not understand and I do not know how it is going to be done but I was make understand that the transplant do not involve anything from whoever. All it takes is my wife own blood and her own bone marrow. What and advance technology we have now a days. This is estimated to take place start from 2nd of May 2014.

It is a though situation mentally and physically to her and my family. We really need all the morale support for friends and relatives. I have 4 kids, aged 10 years, 8 years old, 7 years old and the youngest is 1 years old. Looking to their face I really pity them that we have to let their grand parents to take care of them start from 26th of march 2014 until her mother recovered. That mean that we will be separated for months. I am living near my work place and I have to send them back to stay with their grandparents which take 6 hours journey to reach there. I am worried that they are far away from me. My wife and I will missed them everyday until we can visit them may be one a month. Financially it is very though challenge to me since I am the only bread winner for my family with ordinary job. I had to meet the treatment cost, my kids daily expenses staying with their grandparent, my own daily expenses or in other words my expenses will definitely increase at lease by 50% per month.

To my kids,.. Daddy and mummy will missed you all, Please endure this hard time with us..By God will Mummy will recover and we will be together again.